Brody's Big Truck Birthday

Since the whole family was going to be together on Thursday for Thanksgiving, we decided to celebrate Brody's 2nd birthday at the same time. This year's theme was really a no brainer... that little man sure does love his big trucks. 

I found a couple different construction cakes on Pinterest and took my favorite things from each one. So Mama Z and I made this scrumptious chocolate cake... aka mound 'o diabetes.  

We've been singing "Happy Birthday" and practicing telling people we're "two" for weeks now. Lil Man was so excited when everyone starting singing to him. And because they've been celebrating birthdays lately at daycare, he knew well enough to blow the candles out. Such a big boy! 

Side note... does this make anyone else's heart explode or just me? Gahhh... I just love these two.

Brody was showered with so many really cool trucks for his birthday. My house looks like some sort of crazy parking lot.

He also cooperated enough for us to get an updated four generations photo. 

...and a group hug with my lovers. 

I'm so thankful for another year with my precious baby boy. He is such a blessing and I can't wait to see what sort of adventures are in our future. I'm also thankful for the other man in my life. With his crazy work travel schedule and family in two other states, I am blessed that he was able to be here with me for Thanksgiving and Brody's birthday party. 

So many blessings this year. Such a happy girl. xo

Happy 2nd Birthday, Lil Man!

Lil Man,

Happy second birthday to my free-spirited, independent little boy! Each year you amaze me... how much you grow, the things you learn and how much tighter you wrap me around your finger. Just when I think it isn't possible for my heart to love you anymore, the simplest words and smallest of gestures stop me in my tracks and remind me what a precious miracle you are.

The most incredible change in the last year was your level of communication. Twelve months ago, you knew less than a half dozen words and a handful of noises. Anything even remotely cool would make you say "oooo!" or "wow." ...especially choo-choos, busses and semi trucks. Oh, how you love the big trucks. My favorite phrase of yours is "uh oh, whatdidyoudo?" Always one word and always accusing mama of something you did.

But now there's a little man who can talk to me... tell me "good" when I ask how his day went or "tissue" when he has a runny nose and "boogers" to get. After "bubbles" (bath) and "joosh" (juice), you want to go watch "toons" (cartoons) because you sure do love "mouse" (Mickey). You know that after dancing to "hot dog" (the hot dog song), it's time for "na-night" (bedtime) but only after "moo" (milk) and "Boom Boom" (Chicka Chicka Boom Boom). When you're jumping around in the entryway, you're able to tell me that you either want to go "down" (downstairs) or go for a car ride to look for a "baaaaa!" (bus).

The "mama, cuddles" and "na-night, love you" bring me to tears because this blessing is so big and my cup is so small and the overflow has to go somewhere.

March was a rough month for us. It took over month for three of your molars to poke through... which meant a constant cocktail of pain meds and Orajel and waking up every few hours throughout the night. You're lucky you're so cute because you were the most irritable little turd ever. However, we went cold turkey on your binky one night without any problems. I was so proud of you, big boy!

In the beginning of Summer, for some unknown reason, you suddenly became terrified of the water. Baths and getting you in the pool were a struggle, but then one day, you decided to be fearless and you haven't stopped since. We spent most of the summer soaking wet. Evenings were spent out on the deck (naked) in the kiddie pool or water table and weekends in Grandma and Grandpa Z's pool. The most entertaining, euphoric experience of the year was most definitely the Zeeland Splash Pad... your own special brand of toddler crack.

Currently, your favorite toys are Legos, cars and trucks. You love the Fisher Price Main Street over at Grandma's house and the vintage race tracks for your Hot Wheels from Great-Grandma. You still love anything with buttons... phones, remotes, TVs, whatever. Grandma Z even gave you her old iPhone to play with. I know I used to say that I was going to restrict the amount of electronics and technology in your life, but sometimes, for my own sanity, it's best if you and Angry Birds have some quiet time together.

You and "Ora" (Zora) are still best friends. Sometimes you're a sassy little brat that tells her "no no!" for absolutely no reason and you still yank out her butt flaps, but then there are those rare moments I'll catch the two of you spooning and it melts my heart. Remember to thank her someday for not attacking you because, most days, you probably deserve it. I refer to the two of you as Tank and Terror for a reason.

Ryan came into your life this year. We chose to wait awhile before you two met, but it was so worth it. You took to him instantly. Usually when you meet new people, you hide behind my legs and study them carefully. Not Ryan. You climbed up on his lap right away and now when he pulls into the driveway, you run to the front window yelling "Ryyyaaannnn!!!" and greet him with a big hug. I know, buddy, I love him too.

In August, you started a new daycare and were the adorable ring bearer in Aunt Z's wedding. Remember to thank Ryan someday for committing to Brody duty for 7 straight hours on wedding day and not running for the hills. September was a big month. You learned to say "peas" (please) and "chain-chu" (thank you) and could count to ten hitting most of the numbers. We went to the zoo for the first time with Aunt Z and Grandma and Grandpa... you loved the otters, penguins, monkeys and bears the most. You also graduated into a toddler bed and did so incredibly well with the transition. What a big boy!

By the following month, you were singing bits and pieces of the ABCs and Happy Birthday, identifying colors, starting another new daycare and having legit conversations on your fake phones. You love to sing and dance. Your favorite songs are "Dirt" by Florida Georgia Line, "Donkey" by Jerrod Niemann, "Wiggle" by Jason Derulo and "Wanna Be Like You" from the Jungle Book. That damn Wiggle song will be the death of me, but you just love it.

I've grown accustom to people saying what a handful you are, how much energy you have and how you're nothing like any kid they've ever met. I know that someday, that endless supply of energy and strong-willed personality will only transform you into an ambitious, independent, successful man. In the meantime, I'll do my best to keep up and provide you with both wings and roots.

Being a single mom is hard, but being a single mom to you is the toughest job I will ever have. Especially those days when you hate the food that you loved the day before, throw tantrums because I won't let you go outside in the rain or when rocking before bedtime turns into wrestling with alligators. But you know what, Brody... thank you. Thank you for teaching me that Lego and block castles trump a clean house any day and the laundry and errands that don't get done because we're busy cuddling or reading can always wait until tomorrow.

Brody, I can see my whole world in your bright eyes and goofy smile. Sometimes I even hear God in your giggles. As you get older, the world becomes bigger and scarier to me for a thousand terrible, wonderful, hopeless, beautiful reasons that you won’t understand until you're much older. Even as our family dynamic continues to change, never forget that you are my number one and I will be forever grateful for this precious time just the two of us. Happy birthday, my sweet boy. I love you from the bottom of my heart.

-Mom


Read Brody's one year birthday letter here.

Chronicles of an Online Dater

There was something a bit surreal horrifying about having to return to the dating world after a 12.5 year hiatus. Prior to my divorce, my last first date was way back in summer 2001, and it's safe to say a lot has changed since then... went from having to ask parents for a ride to the movies to being a single parent trying to squeeze in a date before 8:00 pick-up. There were some things, however, that didn't really change at all.

I went from being an awkward teenager to an awkward adult, living in a town where I only knew a couple people, now with a baby, dog and house to take care of and still a die-hard homebody that embraced the mindset of once the bra is off and the sweatpants are on... no way in hell I'm leaving the house. 

So once I was ready to move on from the divorce, I figured that, realistically, online dating was my only hope. I know there's still this stigma even though pretty much every other aspect of life is filtered through the Internet. Kinda mind boggling if you really think about it.

So there I was... on Match.com... reading through dozens of profiles, shuddering at some, "winking" at others. One minute you're giddy over the possibilities of actually meeting these potential suitors and the next you're sobbing into a glass of wine wondering if this is really what life has come to. However, knowing the bar scene wasn't for me and the chance of me meeting Mr. Right while grocery shopping in my sweatpants covered in baby urp was probably pretty slim, I pressed on.

Let's start from the beginning, shall we?

Date #1: Went well enough to warrant a second date, but ultimately, the tramp stamp and crying uncontrollably through Love Actually weirded me out.

"Date" #2: This DB waited until 15 minutes before our date to cancel on me because he didn't feel like going out in the cold weather and then had the balls to drunk text me two other times in the wee hours of the night. Excuse me, but I think you were looking for the Tinder app.

"Date" #3: We texted for awhile... seemed like a relatively nice guy... but he worked or went to school all the time. Between his schedule and my responsibilities as a mom, we just never found the time to actually meet.

Date #4: Guys... this date was like a comedy gone wrong... I cannot make this shit up. He texted me a list of options for our first date, but they included dinner OR drinks, not both. All these places were restaurants that he had coupons for. We get to dinner and he tells me to keep my portion of the bill under $10, but then proceeds to tell the waiter that we're going to split a medium pizza and waters for the both of us. A comment was made about how cold he keeps his house and told me if I ever came over and wanted him to turn the heat up, I'd better throw a $20 on the table. No, not shitting you at all. The ONLY positive thing about that evening was I found Petey on my way home. So even though the date was a hysterical disaster, I reunited a lost doggy with his owner... so I'm glad I went for that reason alone.

Date #5: I'd consider this a decent date, but unfortunately I didn't feel like we had a whole lot in common. And nothing is a bigger turn off than when guys who are shorter than me (he was 5'9") do nothing but comment on the height difference. Be thankful I wore flats, buddy.

"Date" #6: I'm so glad this date didn't actually happen. We had plans to go out one night, but I called to ask if we could reschedule after some really bad things happened that day in divorceland. He said no problem, but later that night, I started getting texts from him calling me a liar and a stupid bitch for backing out on him. When I didn't respond right away because, oh I don't know, I was busy being a mom, his texts became super aggressive. So of course I politely told him to go eff himself. That's when the voicemails started pouring in with him crying and asking for my forgiveness. Again, not shitting you. Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeper.

So why I am I sharing this, you might ask? Well, today, date #7 and I are celebrating a year together. The fear of starting over, of having to step outside my comfort zone, not to mention that stellar lineup of suitors... it was all worth it. My heart is full and I am beyond blessed to have such an incredible man in my life.

Since the divorce, it has been an honor to hear so many stories of how sharing my experience with divorce and dating have empowered others to put themselves out there. You will find love and happiness again, I promise.

I did.

Nanananana Batman!

I knew this year was going to be very hit or miss with getting Brody into a costume. I took a hand-me-down Batman costume and made a few alterations... took the "ears" off the mask and attached them to a black winter hat and added ties to the back to give the costume more room to accommodate a winter coat. The lil turd fought me on the hat most of the time and refused to wear the cape, but for the most part, he was a trooper. 

I was sitting at work one day when I came up with the idea to make myself a Robin costume since this would be my first year trick-or-treating with Brody. I ran over to Goodwill on my lunch and found 90% of what I needed to piece together a costume. For someone who knows very little about sewing, I was super pumped about how it turned out. 

I mentioned to my sister what I was doing and both she and her husband jumped on the bandwagon with homemade Catwoman and Joker costumes. 

Brody and I ran into Gentex Friday afternoon to show off our costumes before heading to Muskegon. We met up with Ashley, Adam and Ryan at my parent's house before trick-or-treating. Since it was super cold, Brody was bundled head to toe in winter clothes. He did conquer one whole block before we called it a night. It was a ton of fun... he ran from house to house and just thought he was the cat's meow.

Post-trick-or-treating candy coma...

I put Brody down for bed at my parent's house while Ashley made Ryan my fill-in Batman. The four of us headed out to a Halloween party that just so happened to be superhero themed. The costumes, decorations and food were fantastic. 

I am super glad Ryan was home this weekend and was able to go out with us. I was really looking forward to Halloween, mostly because of Brody, and was glad he got to share that with us.

And on a side note... a huge round of applause to my fellow peers this year. A few years ago, I wrote a post about how ridiculous people were when it came to their costumes.  I was beyond pleased to see my Facebook and Instagram flooded with a plethora of pictures of adorable children all dressed up AND my fellow people in creative, homemade costumes that didn't include their lady bits and ta-tas hanging out everywhere. It seems like superheroes were a huge thing this year and not the typical slutty adult costumes. Bravo, folks... bravo. We're all so grown-up now.